My Boy Would Have Been 18

Each year, you would think it would get easier, but it doesn't. Zach's birthday is always so hard. We are remembering him today by going to Montanas for ribs and then watching Natcho Libre starring Jack Black, two of Zach's favourite things to do. I woke up this morning to a homemade card from Doug, with Legos glued all over it. At the top were the words, "Heaven's Master Builder." Zach lived to build Lego creations, so Doug's token of love meant the world to me. My best friend Katherine sent me a text this morning that was so very precioius. She wrote, "A couple of days ago I was thinking about Zach's birthday and Jesus gave me a word-picture for you: it was of Zach taking a selfie of he and Jesus together laughing. Zach seemed to be saying, 'Hi Mom! Look at me and Jesus hanging out in heaven.' He seemed so happy and wanted you to know all is well." So, I smile at the thought of him taking a selfie with Jesus and of him being a master builder in heaven. Loving thoughts have flooded in on facebook from family and friends and I breathe easier today because I know people have not forgotten my precious boy. Thank you to all who have lifted my sad heart. Your love has broken our fall.

As always God's kindness breaks through the dark. As I listened to the album "Zion" by Hillsong United, God's relentless love spoke words of healing and life. The lyrics of songs comforted:

"My love tears through the darkness"
"I will carry you"
"Death where is your sting?"
"You can rest in my embrace"
"Heaven's story breathes life into your bones"
"My love will be your companion in this war against your pain"
"My love is brighter than the sun, more beautiful than words can ever say"
"My glory will break through the dark"

I felt the closeness of God and the warmth of his love, a knowing that he would walk with us through tears and laughter as we fondly remember the 13 years we were blessed to spend with Zach.